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Controversy[ edit ] Anthropologist Helen Fisher in What happens in the dating world can reflect larger currents within popular culture. For example, when the book The Rules appeared, it touched off media controversy about how men and women should relate to each other, with different positions taken by New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd  and British writer Kira Cochrane of The Guardian. Sara McCorquodale suggests that women meeting strangers on dates meet initially in busy public places, share details of upcoming dates with friends or family so they know where they’ll be and who they’ll be with, avoid revealing one’s surname or address, and conducting searches on them on the Internet prior to the date.
Don’t leave drinks unattended; have an exit plan if things go badly; and ask a friend to call you on your cell phone an hour into the date to ask how it’s going. If you explain beautifully, a woman does not look to see whether you are handsome or not — but listens more, so you can win her heart. That is why I advise our boys to read stories and watch movies more and to learn more beautiful phrases to tell girls.
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India has an historic homosexual tradition. Surviving texts from as early as the s mention the subject and sacred imagery depicts same-sex interaction between women. Both Muslim Nawabs and wealthy Hindus were recorded as having harems of young males. Tantric rituals are also known to have included homosexual acts. Transgender kothis and hijras have widespread, if ambivalent, visibility in many local communities.
India’s newly emerging LGBT communities, along with its variegated sexual behaviors that defy easy categorization, provide substantiation of the diversity of human sexuality; a diversity that is more visible than ever as the social freedoms sweeping through Asia erode irrelevant strictures of colonial laws and religious superstition. Having only recently struck down it’s anti-buggary laws and with very few positive openly LGBT role models, society is still largely uneducated about homosexuality and, partly because of having been criminalized for so many years, it is still shameful to be identified as gay.
Gays are reluctant to be stereotyped in the public mind as being effeminate or transgender, and non-conformity is one of the biggest fears for self-identified LGBT. Most challenging to change will be the unique relationship between Indian sons and mothers. Women largely secure their social status by raising their sons to be gods – gods who worship their mothers. While daughters are farmed off to serve their husband’s family, Mum is largely focused on getting her boy married.
Once married, he has only to produce a male heir and then he is free to resume his natural inclinations. The pressure to please Mum is accute and most homosexuals in India will eventually succumb, whether they have any interest in the opposite sex or not.
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